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Pet Hates

by I Hate Joanna Lumley

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1.
Ode to Joanna 01:46
lyrics
Joanna Lumley Don't say a word We hate you Joanna Lumley Voice be deterred We hate you Don't dare smile, you sick donkey-slut - Joanna Lumley Voice like a poo We hate you Joanna Lumley A real soft poo We hate you Bono helps people too, fuck you Quirky ads Posh whimsy Sway the lads S'toss to me Joanna Lumley (We hate you) (We hate you) Joanna Lumley (We hate you) (We hate you) Oh Lumley The rage takes over me Oh Lumley Blood boils What do you do to me? - What do you do to me? Something about you, can't you see? - It's your appearance It's all your gestures It's how you're spoken My rage awoken Blood boils inside Wounds open wide Everything about you, I just can't abide Joanna Lumley We hate you We hate you Joanna Lumley, we hate you, yes We hate you
2.
Don't Keep 00:20
lyrics
Don't Keep Don't Keep Don't Don't Keep, you fucking spastic mong! Don't Keep
3.
Pony Bastard 01:01
lyrics
What's wrong with you pony bastards? Rainbow' would choose cancer over you Are you sincere of its merits or are you just a pervert? Neckbearded and dead inside End your life Your life is tragic but friendship is magic (My lil pony) Cum-stained girls plush toys Such great friends give such joys Bide your time, the day's round the corner... Reach the convention with regal ascension (My lil pony) You're king of the bronies enclosed by your cronies You can't be stopped now In numbers you're all t' more cretinous (Preparing launch) Your disgusting culture must end (Launch in 3-2-1) Face your demise Brony scum BOOM!
4.
Aim for the Hart 01:37
lyrics
Aim for the Hart Oh so clumsy Oh she did a fart, haha Lonely, middle-aged women rejoice We've got another large lady, a self-deprecating voice Aim for the Hart Talk about slapstick Slapped with the ugly stick, hoho Forget the sexist bile We just dislike her style Aim for the Hart Miranda Hart Trite is your art Esteem's depart Expect it
5.
Scrump Circle 01:09
lyrics
Racist skinheads and burly goons traitorous thieves and violent loons Olob meatheads in Tapout shirts Women beaters No just deserts Oppressive filth where do you go? What do you think when you're alone? We found your home Your scum HQ Took a look inside and there was you... [solo] Orderly Gathered in shape A scrump circle Scumbag incestuous rape Dressed in drag - pouting your lips A drag queen blitz You prance around looking like Nanny McPhee - An orgy of fits Wanking your bits It's a scruuump- Ciiiiiircllllle It's a scrump circle For all the hurtful We can see all your repressions Hidden urges It's a scrump circle For all the hurtful Woah! It's a scrump circle For all the hurtful All the things that you look down on The scrump circle is where it's going on You are bumming redress
6.
Glitter 01:59
lyrics
Glitter No Glitter No Glitter Granules of pure death sparkling a whore's depth Glitter Stuck to me Reflective particles Stick on artsy fools Wasteful and distasteful and disgraceful I don't want a face-full It drives me up the walls Shine out without the tools Don't sprinkle me with that sleaze Flashy specks of blasphemy Robots shimmer and shine Not you Glitter Litter not fit for the shitter No place is safe for me It gets in far too deep Glitter (Glitter) Artificial, tacky grains Grains of pure death caught in my breath [solo] ARGH! Don't give me glitter; shit show-off sand Get that skivvy, pseudo-pixie, mirror-ball reject shit away from me Don't sprinkle me with your gaudy
7.
Things We Say (Gorilla Biscuits) 01:20
lyrics
Humor's got a place like all things Be aware of the pain it can sometimes bring A joke to you might not be so funny So take the time and think it out before you open up your mouth I can't believe the things we say A cutting word can ruin days I can't believe the things we say Now I wish I hadn't spoke Can't you learn to take a fucking joke We say things we don't mean but friends understand Respect and humour don't always go hand in hand A joke to you might not be so funny So take the time and think it out before you open up your mouth I can't believe the things we say A cutting word can ruin days I can't believe the things we say Now I wish I hadn't spoke Can't you learn to take a fucking joke But no one's laughing I wish that I can crack a smile but I can't I know he's just a fucking jerk But jerks hurt too And I'm not that cool that I can laugh I see because it's happened to me And I think I was an arsehole when I said what I said It's just a sick sense of humour rolls 'round in my head 'Cause we've had our fun at your expense and that's wrong and we know it You said we were friends For friendship's sake let's give it a break I can't believe the things we say A cutting word can ruin days I can't believe the things we say Now I wish I hadn't spoke Can't you learn to take a fucking joke
8.
WoW 00:58
lyrics
You think you're winning The world keeps on spinning Everyone's out sinning - While you're hoarding gold Buy new things, you're told But really they're old Each and every raid No life is here to be made Will it drop this time? Who gives a fuck If you're looking for fun You're shit out of luck Shit for a monthly fee Get a colostomy You're really lost to me - You are too blind to see Moderation is key M.M.O.R.P.G! Exploring digital lands (that look like) Disney and Comic Sans Reached level 99 Who gives a fuck If you're looking for fun You're Shit out of luck WoW!
9.
Intermission - Potassium Regeneration 01:03
lyrics
Banana break
10.
My Ingerland 01:12
lyrics
"Get outta my country" "Just speaking my mind" Your mind is wrong Starved of air too long Your hatred is blind fed from litter you find Minority is not majority What gives you the authority? Your views are far-right: yeah, far from what is right, m8 Walk far right off a cliff, son... E-D-L? More liiike E-D-ot! Whey-hey! Ho! "They took the cleaner job at KFC I wanted, WAaAH! Best burn it down with the extremist cunt."
11.
OLOB 00:09
lyrics
OLOB Overly lad Overly Bro Overly lad Overly Bro OLOB
12.
SLAVES (Wonder Showzen) 00:14
lyrics
(SLAVES) Built the pyramids (SLAVES) Built the parthanon (SLAVES) Built America (SLAVES) This is your song, thank you (SLAVES) Thank you (SLAVES) Thank you (SLAVES) (SLAVES) This is your song, thank you Slaves
13.
Van Halen 01:22
lyrics
I brought my pencil I will write on your eye You got it bad (You got it bad) You are hot for death disease infections for your sleaze Go ahead and jump off a bridge It's not the '80s anymore We've all heard solos before No line of girls at your door split-jump and shit starts to pour Thanks a bunch for Bill & Ted but please stop living, please be dead Forty years of tapping Guitars looking like Christmas wrapping Van Halen Can't save 'em Die
14.
Stomp it Dead 00:02
lyrics
Stomp it dead! Ergh!
15.
Rebel Meets Rusty Chainsaw 00:52
lyrics
[solo] H'yeaagh! Check it, Brother Dime Ain't got shit on my groove, Bootsy For the Confederacy HELL YEAH! Whiskey at the ready and some bud to keep us steady Got my cowboy hat and boots Let's go - Never seen a southern state and heard Pantera years too late I miss Dime Rebel meets rusty chainsaw A redneck from Redditch The closest cowboys to you are dodgey plumbers overcharging gran - If you say Getcha pull one more time I'll pull the cord and you will meet Dime Rebel meets rusty chainsaw Rebel meets rusty chainsaw Rebel meets rusty chainsaw Rebel meets Rebel meets Rebel meets Zakk Wylde! H'yeah Whisky
16.
Beaten 00:39
lyrics
I am beaten, ahh UGH
17.
Sorry Pt.1 01:26
lyrics
We're sorry We're sorry You shouldn't waste your time Don't waste your life on hate Live your life Sorry Live your life Peace and love We're sorry Compassion for other people's feelings Peace and love We're sorry Really sorry

about

IxHxJxLx's disgusting debut.

credits

released April 8, 2014

Jamesy Joanna - vocals, synthesiser
Lukey Lumley - vocals, guitars, bass
Donald Swiven - drums
Glenn Thomas - guest solo on 'Van Halen'

Recorded, mixed and mastered at The Playroom by LL.

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I Hate Joanna Lumley Brighton, UK

Probably the fifth greatest Joanna Lumley themed band in all of South-East England.

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