Joanna Lumley Joanna Lumley Back again Joanna Lumley We hate you Another dose of vitriol Joanna Lumley We hate you Philanthropy won't dismiss you We hate you Quirky ads Posh whimsy Sway the lads It's toss to me Ab-Fab The Movie was cancer Bring out the celebs, bring out the celebs Graham Norton wants to kill you Joanna Lumley, you better check your posh privilege Saving the gherkins, we get it, you're a vegetarian Quirky ads Posh whimsy Sway the lads It's toss to me Softly (softly) Spoken (spoken) Lay those teeth down (stomp it) on the curb block (stomp it) Oh Lumley The rage takes over me Oh Lumley Blood boils What do you do to me? Something about you, can't you see It's your appearance It's all your gestures It's how you're spoken, my rage awoken Blood boils inside Wounds open wide Everything about you, I just can't abide Oh Lumley Our apostasy and our heresy is to become the absolute decree of the coming zeitgeist

SUN MAID SUN MAID (SUN MAID) You keep your hands off my My delicious grapes (Delicious grapes) No raisins Stop dehydrating grapes, you scary Californian bitch

Apocaroline Apocaroline Apocaroline The place to go if you're feeling low Apocaroline Hundreds of pubs, but none for you basic scrubs Pirate paedos Fat girls in corsets and Mammothfest blokes Fat cookie vendors and stale media tropes Pseudo-vikings and cancerous cosplay cunts Apocaroline (Apocaroline) Apocalypse and The Caroline For dregs like you Would you like a pint or three? Come for a Caz colostomy Do you need your fat girl fix? Drag yourself down to Apocalypse [cacophony of dregs]

I see you sitting there on the park bench What is that in your hand? Is that a copy of James Joyce Ulysses? I like your wood-frame glasses I like your lil' 50s shoes I think it might be time for me to approach you M' lady... When I was a little boy (Little boy) I dreamt of a fairy-tale romance (Romance) But when I grew up (When I grew up) I never realised there would be all these fucking sluts (Sluts) Hello there, how's it going Would you like some tea with me, my lady? Date with me La la la la, la la la la, Killing all the thots Excuse me, young lady, but would you per chance like to accompany me on what we in the common parlance refer to as a date? This event may involve the consumption of alcoholic fluids, and I hope that afterwards we might have sexual intercourse back at my private quarters If of course you are not interested in taking any of these things, then by all means say so and also does this rag smell like chloroform to you? Chloroform (Chloroform) [Solo] Can I interest you in some tea? Can I interest you in some coffee? Or in my dick, bitch Would you like some tea with me, my lady? Date with me Don't cuck me And if you don't, my retribution is gonna be fucking unspeakable La la la la, la la la la, Killing all the thots

The Silent Sinners. © 2016 Book written by Alex Stein (Not Published) Progule. (Afternoon 13.00hrs PM Januray 15th 2001, New York Police Department.) It was just another day at the police department in New York, a day you would think nothing would happen... A blood soaked murder happend last night down at an rundown closed subway, (Just a few blocks down from here at the N.Y.P.D.) it closed due to 'unforseen circumstances' because the public was 'scared of something' and has been closed ever since. I was in charge of this case, after my chief boss told me he had other things to see too but promised to help out, looking down into my tea - brown stained cup, I was still remembering last night's call I got screaming through my head... (14.00hrs pm hotel room in LA several miles from New York.) [Phone Rings] 'Yeah, Detective Jack here.' 'Hey Jack, it's Neil your boss somthing's come up.' 'Christ Neil it's fuckin' 2 in the morning...' 'Yeah well, tough shit your needed down here; it's a friggin' madhouse, you remember that subway murder case 12 months ago? Another body has been found at that subway, could you come down to the station?. Don't be late, I need you down here.' 'All right, I'll be there later on'. [Puts phone down] 'Damn stupid lunatic.' Anyway that was my thoughts that night, I had to see this, this was the second murder in the same area, the first murder? well... 2 years ago it was a fucked up, just going down these blood smell stained stairs and then onto the scence where hell looked like it had a good satanic stag party, messy bastards! I came across several man made scratch markings that on the wall, and then a blood splatter name painted on like as da vinci has won the grammy's award for best brotherhood bonding with banksy. I looked up to the blood splatted name above, the name said, 'The Silent Sinners' The victim's body below was ripped in half, one half was on the floor squashed up and cut up like if it been through an angry blender on a revenge streak, the other half was hanging, pinned against the white tiled wall upside down with a inverted petegram carved in underneath. I never figured out what it meant or whatever it meant to mean, so the case went on for a further few months later with empty leads so it was left unsolved. Chapter 1 - A Bloody Mess. (Morning 0900hrs am January 15th 2003, New York Police Department.) Grabbing a tea from the cafe opposite the station, I walked over to the stairs leading up to the station, it wasn't really a big place, just a building full of cops and lousy drug lawyers. I hardly knew some of the staff, I've been here a few odd 2-3 years never got along with anyone just the 'smile and wave boys' act got me through the pain of not talking, they hated the fact that I got along with the boss, so my only friend was the water cooler in my office. I made my way into the main office where my boss Neil was up to his head with phone calls and paperwork. 'So [Coughs sarcastically] ahem I'm here now,' I said ironacally, pretending I wasnt late or anything. 'Damn right jack or I would have to blow your damn brains out [Laughs abrubtly] , anyway good to see you here, I'm up to here in my head with all this shit.' 'Really?' I said, 'I could do with a vacation.' yawning, stretching my arms. 'Don't take the piss jack, your job is serious, you don't wanna end up cleaning up with janitor do you? 'Sure, but no thanks' I joked, [laughs neverously] before grabbing the back of my neck trying to change the subject. Now this murder it's been going round my mind all night, I only got the call about an hour before I called you, it seems like the same story as the other murder, body found, no killer found, but there's somthing different down there this time apparantly, we may have a lead to this' I jumped and started to sweat 'You found a clue finally?' Neils stared at me 'You got a problem with that detective?' I answered with deep breath 'No, not at all chief' gritting my teeth like I was straining for the bathroom. Anyway, I want you to go down there because I've asked other officers and no, no one else will.' I thought for a moment, WHY wont HE go down there? After all it is a police matter isn't it? (He didn't with the last murder case oddly enough.) 'Ok I'll go and take a look, just another thing, was there any witnesses this time? Surely someone could of heard somthing?' I hoped for a answer. 'Yeah there was one person erm.. Officer Dallion got a name for us as he was down there last night, a person named Sally Reign our only witness she called us about it who was attacked down there but managed to survived, heard that she was in a right bad state at that time, took a bad knock to the head, she should of calmed down by now. She's at the New State hospital getting checked over if you want to talk to her, you might find something from her, we need a statement' 'Ok I'll get that as well, I'll be back later I'll call you if something comes up.' 'Good luck Jack' 'Yeah all the luck I need'... I said, picking up my pad and pencil as I went. Questions were already filling my head as I headed down to my car, getting in I thought to myself, 'What if it is like the other murder?'. 'What if this is a sign wanting to be discovered?' 'Why Now?' There was just too many answers to find out or ask, so I started the engine and drove downtown to the un-used subway. (10:00hrs am, The un-used subway station.) I arrived at the crime scence I parked my car opposite the place, as I got out, I felt a odd shiver down my spine as I stared at the entrance of the scence it was all taped up, it was a right mess, as if the apocalypse arrived. I strted to get black and white flashbacks, it hurt my head I took a asprin that helped, there was a officer guarding the entrance to the stairways and a police car parked up nearby. I walked over with my pad and pencil in my hand, I felt my spine curling up nervoursly again, like if death didn't want me there. I proceeded to the officer I showed him my badge, as I turned to go down the stairs he spoke in a croaked voice giving me a worrying glance, 'Be careful down there it's a hell hole'. 'Yeah, I will thanks' I said calmly trying to hold catch my breath as sweat trickeled down my cheek. 'God knows what happend down there, but the forensices are down there if you want to talk to them'. 'Thanks' I said wondering to myself, why the hell did I just freak out? I trudged my way down the wet tiled stairs, as I went down I noticed there was no blood leading out of the subway or in. 'hmm' I thought continuing, I made my through the subway and onto the platfom, where the lifeless victim body was sprawled across the floor. The forensices looked busy taking photos for edvidence, I shined my torch across the wall there it was the name I dreaded like before splashed in blood 'The Silent Sinners' I began to think this was some sort of un-holy cult gang related. I thought to mysef, 'Somebody's been busy, Jesus chist; god 'aint gonna help us now then I see'. I suddenly heard a tap on my shouder, I turned round and shone my torch to a female that was now standing in front of me, she was average height, brown dark hair, hazel eyes with a soft voice that would melt your heart, it was the head of the forensices. 'Hey there, lovely morning this is' I said shining my torch back on to the floor. 'Hi my name is Rachel, as you can see we are busy gathering edvidence, anything I can help you with?' 'Yeah' I said pretending to look confused without being distracted by her low cut top suit 'What have you got so far?' looking across to where the victim was. 'Well we know the victim was attacked from the front because blood is drawn away from the body and they are burnt hand marks on his chest, so he was possibly pushed with a force? We checked the blood the walls and it's not human blood that's for sure' ''Not human blood?' I said with a startled look.